Remains Found in Compost!

4_4It was a day unlike any other when a couple of volunteers came across what looked like human remains in one of the compost piles. Scared out of their wits, the shaken volunteers reported directly to In Touch with Kalani. Why not to local authorities you may ask? What happens at Kalani STAYS at Kalani, that’s why! Luckily the two volunteers knew this little gem of information and avoided ending up in the compost pile themselves. We kid of course, just a little fun ‘mafia’ humor! Rest assured no mafia exists here (that we know of) but we were nonetheless tickled to be the first upon the scene. When we arrived to investigate, the first question that popped into everyone’s mind was whether human bones actually belonged in the compost pile? Surely we’re compostable, but since items thrown into the compost pile eventually end up as nutritive soil that grows the very food we eat, hopefully no one in their sane mind would spoil our compost with human remains! Then again, there are those who continue to put dental floss, condoms, hair balls, fingernail clippings and tampons in the compost bins… But we digress. Our in depth investigations (that really only consisted of snapping the picture and making unsubstantiated hypotheses) unveiled many more questions than answers. Who was this person? How did they end up here? Where did Doug (Dan’s brother) really go? What about all those other pau-ed volunteers? What was that strange thumping that sounded like footsteps walking around Hale 2 when no one was around all about? Have we found Jimmy Hoffa? Perhaps we many never know, but will say; (just for the sake of not inviting any bad juju) we now dedicate that compost pile as the ‘pile of the unknown volunteers’. May they rest in peace and for goodness sakes quit messing with our electronic devices already!


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