You probably saw beloved volunteer Baby Dee stumbling around the Kalani campus on her crutches recently and wondered, what happened? Presented here are just the facts of what happened as uncovered by ITWK’s investigative staff. We shall withhold our judgment on the matter, and ask that you do the same until the authorities conclude their investigation and Mamma Dee is brought to justice.
For years now, there has been but one Dee in our Kalani ohana Mamma Dee, and she liked it that
way. She had the spotlight all to herself, and when somebody referred to “Dee” everybody knew
they meant her. Whenever she overheard somebody 
say, “I love Dee,” there was no question they meant her. This felt good. She liked it. She had found her place in the ohana. Now, enter Baby Dee. Here’s the reality- Baby Dee is a
sweet, nice person who is easy to like and even easier to love. Mamma Dee certainly took notice of this. Suddenly when Mamma Dee heard “I love Dee” she wasn’t sure anymore who they meant. More and more, it came to light that they meant Baby Dee, and the green-eyed monster of jealousy possessed Mamma Dee. Engulfed in rage, Mamma Dee’s
behavior became increasingly erratic and unpredictable until finally one day it came to a head as blood was shed and a life was nearly lost. It happened in Hale 2. Sweet, innocent Baby Dee was fixing a cup of cocoa to give to one of her dear friends. It was the last cup of cocoa, and it was tasty and succulent. Although she wanted it for herself, Baby Dee’s heart was too full of love to greedily keep it for herself, so she selflessly offered it her friend. “Ah… thank you, Baby Dee,” her friend was heard to say, “I love you.” Had her friend said “I love you” a minute earlier or a minute later, a very different outcome would have resulted. But no, these words were spoken at the exact moment that Mamma Dee was exiting the Free Boutique, a pretty summer dress in her hand to wear to the next Kalani 
social mixer. “I love you Dee.” It destroyed her sanity like an atomic bomb over a Japanese city. “Aiiiggghhhh!!!!!” Screamed Mamma Dee. “What do you mean you love her!?!?!? Love ME!!!!” Baby Dee, fearing for her life ran towards the staircase, hoping, praying to escape Mamma Dee’s wrath. But Baby Dee, she was just too slow. Mamma Dee, fueled by supernatural rage, was quick to overcome her. “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE DEE!!! AND IT’S ME!!!” She shrieked as she gave poor, poor Baby Dee a mighty shove down the staircase. The angels were on Baby Dee’s side, though, for as horrible as it could have been, she survived this vicious attack with only a twisted ankle. Thank God. And Mamma Dee? Where is she? That’s what we all want to know. Somehow, someway, she managed to evade the Aloha Patrol and is currently living the life of a fugitive on the run. The FBI has been notified and has an all points bulletin out for her. We at ITWK have full faith that justice will prevail for Baby Dee and that Mamma Dee will be brought to justice. We will keep you apprised of updates as they develop.
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