New Devil Retreat Center on Molokai

satanicOne day we were in the In Touch office, sipping Earl Grey tea, as we often do, when a panicked volunteer rushed in, her face flush with fear and confusion. “What’s going on!?!?” She screamed, grabbing us out of our chairs to drag us outside. “Look!” She cried pointing to Kalani’s Casanova carrying the Devil worshipping Sheldon on his back. “They’ve been doing that all day! Just running around all over the place. Why???” As soon as we calmed her down with a chocolate chip cookie, we decided the best way to get to the bottom of this bizarre behavior would be to just simply ask. So we approached the two of them, as Casanova ran by us with sheldon on his back, shouting, “Yippee! Yippee!” and inquired as to this practice they had adopted. “Oh!” Sheldon said. I am indoctrinating Casanova into my new Devil Worship Cult. We’re going to Molokai to start our own Satanic Retreat Center where anybody who wants to come spend a little time in nature, enjoy the ocean, and eat organic, non-gmo food can come and spend a week or so, maybe do some yoga.” “Ah,” we said. That explains it. Sheldon has started his own Devil Retreat center, and has recruited Casanova to attract women to it. Good plan. We, at In Touch wish them all the best. Hail Satan!


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