Scott and Annalisa: Leaks from their Secret Meetings

scott-annalisaIt’s no secret that Scott and Annalisa have been secretly meeting in secret meetings to secretly discuss secrets. What is secret, or I should say, was secret, is what secrets they are secretly discussing. I say “was a secret” because thanks to a series of wikileaks on the subject, we have obtained the secret transcripts of these secret meetings. The truth is astounding. Only read further if have a strong disposition and you are sure you can handle the news of a paradigm shift to the social/work order of Kalani on such a monumental scale that the very existence of us all is irrevocably threatened, from now until the time the earth hurls itself into the sun and explodes. Or Madam Pele destroys us with lava- whichever comes first.

So, it turns out Scott had this idea to do some transgenic gene splicing to create a breed of self-sustaining super volunteers who don’t rely on the kitchen to feed them and don’t care how their eggs are cooked. What do you think is going on with those white and pink coconuts? Incubators for cross-genetic brains- that’s what those are. And all this is going on right under our noses, out there in the Permaculture area. Ever wonder what Scott’s doing out there all day? Now you know. He’s been taking genetic material from his permaculture crew and splicing it into various different plants to see which is the best for the work needs of Kalani, which is why Annalisa is involved. With access to the volunteer database and the forecasts of Kalan’s needs, she sold out to Scott and pretty much damned us all, threatening our way of life and obliterating our ohana, by letting Scott know what kind of workers she will be needing, so Scott knows what kind of human genes to splice with the plants. This will no doubt make as all obsolete as the plant hybrids are trained and onboarded into their various roles.. Did you think of that, Annalisa? Did you? Boo, Annalisa! Boo! How could you do this to us? We thought you were our friend.We thought you had our back. But of course, we were wrong.

Scott’s experiments are frighteningly close to bearing fruit. After months of trial and error he is only weeks away from having his first workable crop of  “Chayumans,” or half human, half chaya tree. It turns out a human/chard hybrid just doesn’t make any sense. Neither does a human/hibiscus. But the chaya tree? The chaya tree is perfect, with its super nutrients and it’s resilience to insect damage. Makes sense, doesn’t it? That a volunteer workforce that could eat each other’s leaves when hungry, and not be in need of shelter would be a dream come true for the Kalani staff? And they will be obedient too- obedient to their master, of course- Scott. Scott can train them to do pretty much anything he wants- pull weeds, plant lettuce, harvest ulu, work on cars and fix the screens in the guest hales. It’s a pretty sweet deal… for Scott.

As these wikileaks have revealed, a very different Kalani is in the works. Just how long any of our jobs are safe is unclear as Scott continues to breed his army of Chayumans. It could be weeks before they take over, or it could be months. It may even be years. The only certainty is that they one day will, so brace yourself for an unprecedented change to the very fabric of our existence. .


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