Kalani forgetfulness Syndrome

jimWe all know how weird time can get around here. What is it about this place that messes up our heads and makes us forget what day it is? What time it is? What month, what week, what year? We didn’t realize just how bad this situation can get until we got the following letter from a clearly confused and lost to reality volunteer, slipped beneath the door of our editorial office one day while were out enjoying ice cream and listening to our favorite Harry Belafonte songs at Hale Aloha:

Dear Editor,

Ok What time is it ? Has it been a month or week, 3 hours or 10 mins? Where am I again? I go by the conch shell to start the day or a meditation of tropical birds yelling at me to rise and yawn it’s 5:30am meditate with me in the semi-rise of the sun.

As we’re time traveling we’re also in a Big Island Isolation space. It gets weirder trust me during full moon things get more banana sandwiches? Did I just have two days off in a row, was that a fun dream as two days just melted together like hot cheese? The big island allows for time lapsing. To do or not to do Kalani based adventures? Tanning my buns is fun but not after 6 hours or tropic sun. Is it Monday? Is it Tuesday? Do I work or can I veg out to Kundalini yoga and visit Nirvana today?

I was supposed to be at open mic, reiki healing, and thai massage all in a couple hours somehow I did them all in a dream like time phenomenon. What gives where the hell am I?


A Reader

We have no idea what exactly “A Reader” meant by that, especially the part about the banana sandwiches, but clearly the warped space-time continuum that Kalni exists in can take its toll on some of us. As a public service, we asked a great and wise kahuna who has a pool pass here, if he could shed some light on this forgetfulness phenomenon and if he could offer advice on what to do about it. He wisely nodded his head and said “Space, time. Yah. It’s warped here. Big Island, crazy like that. Vortex. Keep a calendar. Write things down. You never forget nothing then.” We thanked him, and he dove under the water and held his breath for twenty minutes, just to show us he could. So there you have it, “A Reader.” We hope this helps.



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