Solution found to keeping meetings short

Has this ever happened to you? You are sitting through a meeting, but not the Monday Morning Meeting, because those are going perfectly now and everybody loves them, but maybe a department or managers meeting, and it is just going on and on and on, with people talking way too much, and you wish you had a gun, or maybe a cyanide capsule just to end your misery and escape this unending tedium? We have, and rather than whine about it, we decided to be proactive and innovate a solution, so we did research on it to see what successful companies do to combat this phenomenon, and we found a solution that we think is perfect, and the Board of Directors agree, so we are going to go ahead and do this.screen-shot-2017-02-10-at-9-19-27-pm

We got this idea after reading about the success the Dynotech Industries of Worchester Massachusetts, producers of approximately 80% of the Telecyneticlhyioln chips used to power most modern laptop computers, including the laptop computers used by staff, right here at Kalani. What Dynotech Industries does to keep their meetings on time and on track is, they make the facilitators of their meetings wear a shock collar, similar to what dog owners sometimes make their dogs where to keep them in the yard- you know, those invisible fences where if the dog wearing the collar strays beyond the sensor, it gets a mild shock, not enough to hurt it, but just enough to know it’s gone too far.

So the facilitators of their meetings wear these, and there is an electronic box with a big button on it sitting in the crowd, so whenever the manager talking gets off subject or goes on too long, anybody at all can push that button and shock the manager’ neck to let them know that enough is enough. Does this seem inhumane? It might be a little bit, but which is worse? A manager getting a gentle shock to the neck during a long meeting, or being forced to sit through a meeting that is going on longer than it should because the manager doesn’t know when to stop talking?

On a side note, since they started doing this, Dynotech Industries’ stock has increased in value an amazing 35%, and worker productivity has more than tripled. If it has that much of a positive impact on a technological industry like Dynotech, all the way in Worchester Massachusetts, just think what it can do for Kalani, right here in Puna! We can’t wait for the collars and button box, which has been ordered from Amazon.com, to arrive. We look forward to your feedback on how it goes in your department meetings, so please do share with us your experiences. It might be a little while though, because nobody in our editorial office has Amazon Prime, so we had to rely on regular shipping which sometimes takes a while.

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