In Touch with a different culture: Zora & Andrea

Where is your country and what is the official language? Slovakia, not Slovenia. It is absolutely central of Europe. We speak Slovak. What is a traditional food from your country? Halušky- Dumplings, with cheese from sheep, and on top you can use sour cream and small pieces of bacon. It is very tasty. What was the biggest culture shock you’ve experienced at Kalani? Zora: Maybe this pool stuff, naked people walking, showing stuff. I wasn’t really shocked. I was surprised. Andrea: I was surprised by behavior. People are really polite. They say “hi” to you. They say “How are you?” … Continue reading In Touch with a different culture: Zora & Andrea

Joel Hatch: Kalani’s Friend or Foe?

Strange things happen all the time at Kalani, things that there is no apparent explanation for. We have become so use to this, that we don’t even notice them anymore, most of the time. Every so often though, something so out of the ordinary comes our way that we can’t help but to acknowledge them. Take for example, the recent discovery of a secret database running the operations of Kalani. Where does this database come from? Who (or what) is feeding it data? To where is the information it gathers sent? What is its power source, as it has no … Continue reading Joel Hatch: Kalani’s Friend or Foe?

Behind the scenes ITWK.

You might think being in In Touch with Kalani is easy. You just need to fall through the ceiling, push another volunteer down the stairs, or get pregnant but it is not so easy. You actually need to bribe us! We love cookies, chocolate, ice cream, massages, watsu treatment and many more.  This is a secret and we want to share with you how other volunteers approached us to be in In Touch. Let’s take a Mama Dee for example. We all know she bakes the most delicious cookies on the earth and we love cookies. Mama Dee works overnight … Continue reading Behind the scenes ITWK.

Who is Sasha really?

You probably met Sasha, a beautiful peaceful and happy soul lounging around Kalani, telling stories, talking about Pele and other Hawaiian goddesses. You can find her chanting, picking up flowers, making beautiful leis or dancing hula. If you think Sasha is one of us you are wrong, but don’t worry, we thought the same for a long time until we discovered the truth. Just like Pele, Sasha came to Hawaii on a boat, not from Tahiti but from Alaska. The island had been calling her for years. She dreamt about hula, and beautiful hawaiian land. But why was Hawai’i was … Continue reading Who is Sasha really?

Predictions for Kalani in 2017

The top psychics of Kalani recently had summit to discuss what they foresee for Kalani in 2017. Hundreds of predictions were made, but presented here are the top 13 that they all agreed on. Our former ED Richard and current ED Joel will design their own fashion lines: ‘TiTiRich’ and ‘TuTuTan’ to help with kitchen fundraiser. A little preview on the pictures. The new fashion lines will be very successful and we will have a beautiful new kitchen by the end of 2017 Richard will be the subject of Michael Moore’s new film. Chef Ted will get Honu Honu for … Continue reading Predictions for Kalani in 2017

Mind if I join you…

It seems like when you ask somebody if you may join them at a table on the lanai during mealtimes, you generally get one of two answers. Either, “Sure,”  which means yes. Or, “We’re about to have a meeting,” which means no. Variety is the spice of life, so here are suggestions of other ways to answer that question. Mind if I join you… It seems inevitable at this point. Fate brought you here for a reason. Let’s see what that’s all about. Trying to pretend you don’t see that person (heavy sigh) Sure. Your minds made up about this, … Continue reading Mind if I join you…

Adulterer Needed for Ohana Night Celebration

With the holiday season upon us, a suggestion was put in the suggestion box that we have an Ohana Night that is biblically themed. We agree. We think that is a great idea so we at ITWK have agreed to host a biblical Ohana Night this holiday season, and stone to death an adulterer, per Deuteronomy 22:23-24, which tells us: If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, … Continue reading Adulterer Needed for Ohana Night Celebration

Steve Yearns for the Return of Kalani Casanova

Steve is hurting, and he needs our love, so let’s band together as a community and be there for him. Steve was very, very attached to Brian “Casanova” Slaughter, who left Kalani back in November. The feelings and affection that Steve had for Casanova ran deeper than any one of us would have ever guessed. He just hasn’t been the same at all since he left. Joe, Steve’s manager had this to say to us about the situation: “Steve doesn’t even work anymore. And when he does work, all he does is bang a hammer on random objects, crying. Mostly, … Continue reading Steve Yearns for the Return of Kalani Casanova