Where is your country and what is the official language? I am from Germany, and we speak German, but we also have a lot of dialects, like Bayerisch, Schwaebisch, Ost Friesisch What is a traditional food from your country? I am from Bavaria and we have sausages with mustard and beer.  And all over Germany we have Wiener Schnitzel -it is like breaded cutlet, and Kartoffel Salat. Personally I am vegetarian and I  don’t eat typical German food. I prefer Mediterranean cuisine. What was the biggest culture shock you’ve experienced at Kalani? The fur coat landing and  boinng on my … Continue reading In Touch with a different culture: Eva

We love rumors. And the latest rumor going around is that the volunteer program will disappear completely! For good! No more volunteers at Kalani! But don’t worry, we are here to clarify these rumors for you. We have some findings we want to share with you.   Well the truth is, as we wrote in In Touch ed.8, Scott is already working on experiments towards splicing human genes into the genetic structure of the Chaya tree in order to create Chayumans, a race of transgenic super volunteers that will replace our current human volunteers. Don’t worry, this is a long … Continue reading New Volunteer Program

Inspired by the Kalani hand-me-down culture, pop fashion icon,/hip hop sensation Macklemore will be paying a visit to the Free Boutique this week to select pieces for his upcoming Thrift Shop Jungle line, as a followup to his #1 Billboard hit, Thrift Shop. Kalani veterans fondly remember the Free Boutique in its fledgling form, the Free Box- a modest and unassuming corner in the long since abandoned corridors of upper Hale 2. The Free Box has hosted its fair share of everything a volunteer could ask for, from half-used toiletries such as shampoo, toothpaste, foot fungal ointment and sunblock,  to … Continue reading Kalani in Style with Free Boutique Fashion

Has this ever happened to you? You are sitting through a meeting, but not the Monday Morning Meeting, because those are going perfectly now and everybody loves them, but maybe a department or managers meeting, and it is just going on and on and on, with people talking way too much, and you wish you had a gun, or maybe a cyanide capsule just to end your misery and escape this unending tedium? We have, and rather than whine about it, we decided to be proactive and innovate a solution, so we did research on it to see what successful … Continue reading Solution found to keeping meetings short

We don’t write about relationships that are obvious and easily spotted at Kalani. People holding hands, showing their affection publicly, post ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook, like Bodie and Amanda, Jenn and Chris or Trent and Nadia. We all know they are in a relationship; there is no secret, nothing to reveal. BORING. Our job is to bring out to the surface the hidden relationships, people who have secret relationships and they don’t want us to know about them. Don’t worry, we have our spies and we will reveal all the secret affairs for you. Crystal and Mat It was … Continue reading KALANI EXCLUSIVE: Secret affairs revealed!

The holidays have come and gone, and now we are well into the new year. It seems like everybody had a good time over Christmas and New Years, and that’s nice. There was a great Christmas dinner. The intuitive gift exchange was a hit. Despite the fire department crashing the party with their fire hose to douse the fire at the point, New Years Eve was a lot of fun. So, we’re glad everybody had a good time. For us though, it was a disappointment. If you remember from our last issue, we put out a call for an adulterer … Continue reading Ohana Night Ruined by Perfect People