It’s a sad week to see our ohana leave. Though we will miss you all dearly, we know this is not ‘goodbye’ but rather ‘until we meet again’’ and look forward to the day we do! Mahalo for your aloha spirit! Safe travels and best to you all on your new adventures! Aloha to you Hazim, Tracy, Janina, Tiki, Sonja, Eric, Savannah and Suzanne! Continue reading A Hui Hou (Issue #5)

Where is your country and what is the official language? China, which is in Asia, near Korea and Japan. The official language is Chinese but we have Mandarin and Cantonese. What is a traditional food from your country? Well Chinese food is very different from place to place, (China) is almost as big as Europe. In my part of the Country we have the most spicy food in China. We use a lot of pepper and spices. Black pepper, white pepper, some types of pepper that makes your tongue feel numb. A lot of herbs traditionally grow in China too. … Continue reading In Touch with a different culture: Tiki

We were nearing the end of our day in the ITWK office when we suddenly heard a kerfuffle down the hall. Hoping to catch some juicy gossip, I mean, out of concern for what was going on, we peeked our heads out and saw a volunteer holding a bag of ice to their head. Jackpot! We rushed over to get the story, ahem, um, rushed to their aid that is. What was uncovered was beyond anything that our imaginations could ever conjure! During an innocent walk through the campground, the volunteer stated that they were suddenly pelted with dozens of … Continue reading Take a Walk in a Pig’s Shoes

You probably saw beloved volunteer Baby Dee stumbling around the Kalani campus on her crutches recently and wondered, what happened? Presented here are just the facts of what happened as uncovered by ITWK’s investigative staff. We shall withhold our judgment on the matter, and ask that you do the same until the authorities conclude their investigation and Mamma Dee is brought to justice. For years now, there has been but one Dee in our Kalani ohana Mamma Dee, and she liked it that way. She had the spotlight all to herself, and when somebody referred to “Dee” everybody knew they … Continue reading Mamma Dee Flees Justice as Baby Dee Suffers

This is life at Kalani for you all are accepted. Do you think we care about anybody’s race, skin color, sexual orientation or religious creed? Of course we don’t, so why would we care that young volunteer Sheldon is a devil worshiping spawn of the dark lord himself, Satan? He is you know, but we love him anyway. Here is Sheldon’s story in a nutshell. Sheldon comes from a small town somewhere on mainland, America. It’s one of those God-fearing, Jesus loving, holy rolling towns. Can I have a “Hallelujah!” Anyway, this small town religious fervor kind of made Sheldon … Continue reading Agent of Satan Establishing Devil Cult at Kalani

As we like to keep our community in touch with the culture of this beautiful land we all share, we thought it a great idea to dig a little deeper and inform all of lesser known Hawaiian traditions. One such tradition is that of how to honor nature. According to ancient folklore, it is a Hawaiian tradition to scrub lethal black mold off chairs just before the arrival of hurricanes in order to appease and welcome 2 Gods: Pele the goddess of fire, lightning and wind and Lono who brings rain. For if this ancient tradition is not upheld and … Continue reading Cleaning Chairs Before the Storm: Why Bother?

About two weeks ago, on a random search of the weather, this screenshot was taken. Why was it so interesting? Well, because as you can see all the days surrounding our deep clean days were sunny or partly cloudy while the days of our deep clean were forecasted with torrential downpours and storms. This peaked our interest! Following some investigations, we learned from the volunteer office that we were expecting a new volunteer by the name of Madeline. She hailed from the Pacific and was scheduled to arrive at Kalani during the first days of the deep clean. We were … Continue reading New Volunteer Petered Out

We were promised a special visitor this past week. We all worked hard to clean the campus up and welcome him. We all really looked forward to his visit. We assumed he would be thrilled that Hale Aloha has reopened and is doing good business, and he would want to pay a visit and at least enjoy a chicken wrap or some ice cream. We even ordered his favorite flavor- Twinky ice cream. If that’s not love, what is? But then at the last minute, he never showed up. He decided to head over to Oahu instead. Who is this, … Continue reading Hurricane Edition: Lester- Just Another NoShow

This next story is so vile, so disturbing, so unbelievably sickening, that we were unsure whether we should write about it. But because we were royally ticked that we weren’t the ones to come up with this ingenious idea in the first place and because we weren’t even offered the consideration to be cut in on the scheme, we decided to unearth this devious plot. ITWK was given an anonymous tip about a money making scheme happening right here in our very own backyard by one of our very own volunteer community members. According to our sources the scheme works … Continue reading Money Making Scheme Unearthed!

Did you know that of the three full time staff members of In Touch… With Kalani, two of them work in the Volunteer Office? It’s true! What better way to serve the gossip needs of the Kalani Community than to have not one, but two moles in the central hub of all volunteer life? At In Touch… With Kalani, we are dedicated to telling you everybody’s business and we will infiltrate any department to do it, because you deserve to know! And perhaps you should think twice before coming in to see us about your “problems”. Continue reading Bring Us More Problems