It’s a sad week to see our ohana leave. Though we will miss you all dearly, we know this is not ‘goodbye’ but rather ‘until we meet again’’ and look forward to the day we do! Mahalo for your aloha spirit! Safe travels and best to you all on your new adventures! Aloha to you Alex, Antoine and Cameron!   Continue reading A Hui Hou (Issue 6)

Where is your country and what is the official language? My country is Hungary, in Eastern Europe and official language in Hungarian. What is a traditional food from your country? Traditional food is Hungarian goulash. I am not a chef but it is made of red pepper, steamed potatoes, sausage, sometimes beef and other spices. It is so simple to make, that is why is very popular. and Tor, which is sausage and meat from pig and rice and mashed potato with steamed vegetables. What was the biggest culture shock you’ve experienced at Kalani? The language. English and Hungarian are … Continue reading In Touch with a different culture: Zoltan

If you’ve lived in the Kalani community for any length of time, certain little idiosyncrasies about the place inevitably pop up. While there are many to choose from, the one of particular interest that came upon our radar is that of the hardboiled egg. Yes, we are talking about that protein packed, vegetarian friendly option, low-calorie nutritious source of 13 essential vitamins and minerals- the humble egg. Why, you may ask, are we so interested in such a common thing? We will tell you. It is because of the surprising reaction that many ohana members have to one particular form … Continue reading Hard Boiled Eggs: Friend or Foe?

Why are we having sudden violent storms? What are we doing to upset the Kanaka’ole ancestor, the family whose land we are on? ● Are we not having enough Hula at Kalani, or are we are doing the steps wrong, dancing on the toes instead on the flat feet – Kanaka’ole style? ● Maybe we don’t chant enough or we are chanting to wrong gods. Are we chanting to Laka, goddess of forest while we are visiting Pele? ● Did the food upset them? Almond butter is gone, and it was not replaced by local macadamia butter. Do we not … Continue reading Kanaka’ole warning

Suspicion arose after Hale Ohana was closed due to “construction.” What construction? There are no construction workers upstairs, maintenance team seems to focus on other task, maintenance manager went on vacation (or did he?), we don’t hear any heavy power tools, not even a hammer, nor a drill. Nothing, just silence. Silence is good, we all need silence but we also need our Hale Ohana. Insiders revealed there are actually noises coming from different rooms upstairs. How is that possible if all the doors upstairs are nailed? Further investigation revealed a shocking discovery. Our beloved Hale Ohana was turned into … Continue reading The secret of nailed doors in Hale Ohana revealed

In our last issue we reported the unsettling story of Mamma Dee’s flee from justice after her brutal attack on poor, innocent, Baby Dee. Since this report, a number ofincredible developments have flooded our office via the Associated Press (AP) newswire. Presented here is a summary of the reports we have had a chance to read so far. Mamma Dee has last been seen in the forests of upstate Oregon. Relying on pure survival instinct, she made it to a logger’s bunkhouse where she burst through the door, startling the lumberjacks there. The biggest of the loggers, a giant of … Continue reading Follow up on Mama Dee

If you work now, or have ever worked in the kitchen, then this shocking report will be of no surprise to you. If you have never worked in the kitchen, then, maybe it will be a surprise to you. Guess you won’t know until you read it. Here it is. Okay, one day the editorial staff of ITWK was having a meeting on the lower lanai to proofread articles and talk about our personal lives in an intimate way that only gossip magazine writers do, when a highly emotional and mildly concerned kitchen volunteer ran to us. “You guys have … Continue reading Why volunteers fight to work on hobart

An excited volunteer ran into our INWK office screaming “We don’t have to shave or wax anymore!” Hmmm that was strange. Are we all going wild and turning into Punatics? But this is a beauty of Kalani; you can be who you really are here: short, tall skinny, heavy, gay, straight, monogamous, polygamous, the one who waxes regularly or the ones with legs, armpit and down there looking like wild forest. We don’t care. We are in the jungle so why not look like real jungle people? The truth is most of us wants to be waxed and look clean, … Continue reading Free Waxing at the pool!

A terrified volunteer recently ran screaming his head off into the ITWK office, wanting comfort, wanting to be soothed. When he finally calmed down enough to tell us what was wrong, we could scarcely believe his story. He told us he had walked by the Peace House, the building where many of the managers live, and saw a pack of wolves circling, licking their chops- hungry while the managers inside all screamed for help. Our first response was to laugh. Wolves? On the Kalani campus? How ridiculous. But then we heard it with our own ears- that somber, terrifying howl … Continue reading Wolves spotted at management housing