You might think being in In Touch with Kalani is easy. You just need to fall through the ceiling, push another volunteer down the stairs, or get pregnant but it is not so easy. You actually need to bribe us! We love cookies, chocolate, ice cream, massages, watsu treatment and many more. This is a secret and we want to share with you how other volunteers approached us to be in In Touch. Let’s take a Mama Dee for example. We all know she bakes the most delicious cookies on the earth and we love cookies. Mama Dee works overnight to bake these delicious cookies for only us. And the leftovers she sells in Hale Aloha. She was bringing us fresh baked, delicious chocolate chips, macadamia and peanut butter cookies for months. Finally we gave up and wrote a couple articles about Mama Dee. She was so happy she brings us even more sweets now.
Do you want to know what really was behind Angela, Tarah and John, the former volunteer office disappearance? They wanted to be in ITWK so badly but they didn’t know how to bake cookies and they couldn’t come up with what they can do for us but they say they would do anything to be in our magazine. Anything? That worked for us perfectly. The truth is we didn’t like them; we didn’t like the way the volunteer office was run so we told them: in order to be in In Touch.. you must leave Kalani and let us take over the office. They were resistant at first but the desire to be in our magazine was stronger, so they agreed and left. And to be totally honest with you all other volunteers who were in In Touch.. but are no longer here.. Well, now you know why.
Another type of people we love to write about are volunteers who don’t want to be in In Touch… As soon as we hear “Don’t write about me”
We are on it. What does this person hiding? Why they don’t want to be in our front page? We want to dig in and find the truth. Let’s take Sunshine for example. He was telling us almost every day not to write about him and we found out why. He is a biggest rule breaker in the entire community and he tried to hide it. Moreover Sunshine was trying to bribe us not to be in In Touch by offering us watsu sessions almost every day. We enjoyed his session so much but also we have an obligation to bring out the truth.
And Jinsong/Sean is another one. A Secret Agent named ‘Koa’ sent by Chinese Government who was constantly telling us not to write about him. Well we listened; he ended up on our cover page and we revealed all his secrets.
Now you know our secret. We welcome all of you to be more creative especially with gifts and bribes. You can also bus our dishes, like Corey or make us a delicious bulletproof coffee, like Annalisa. Just use your imagination. We can’t wait to receive more and write more.
In Touch With Kalani 